A few days ago Charlie Sheen announced his HIV status, the internet/social media were all ablaze with the headlines "Charlie Sheen reveals he's HIV positive in TODAY Show exclusive". I watched clips and read some of the stories and I have nothing but well wishes for the man, not that he knows me or cares but anyone experiencing hardships in their lives deserve well wishes to be sent their way. (Side note - Prayers for World, because the fact people can argue over who should be prayed for baffles me. Pray when you want, for whoever you choose, last I checked that was a personal conversation between you and God - but I digress.) So anyway, the whole Sheen announcement urged me to come back to this post that was drafted for couple months now but I just couldn't seem to get my thoughts together. So here they are, as together as they can be at this point...
It's the metaphorical elephant that never leaves the room. SEX. What happens when you have sex? Who to have sex with? When to have sex? SEX! Even typing it looks foreign and wrong. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder to ensure no one's reading "that word". But it exists - duh.
I'm sure parents know that, but they would lead you to believe that they dreamed of you and then God blessed them with the precious gift
But what about making sure you have some knowledge of the topic. I often heard American sitcoms reference "the birds and the bees" talk but in Caribbean vernacular the sex talk more often than not comes after the deed has been done and consists of only the warnings "You betta not get pragnant (Lord I hate that)" or "You better not get no girl pragnant". The rules to live by. Then of course there's biology class which might I add most teenagers giggled through when sex came up.
There's so much more though; there's emotion, there's the awkwardness, there's protection, there's being brave enough to say no even if you said yes the first time, there's responsibility, there's the after, there's possibility of disease...
Yes. Disease. I think it's a fair assessment to say, especially in a small country such as the Bahamas that
there is still a stigma against those who suffer from Sexually transmitted illnesses (herpes etc) HIV & AIDS. With HIV people stutter to say the seemingly innocent letters arranged in a death sentence.
YET, the conversation of sex with your children remains a taboo. Babies are a welcomed surprise from teenagers you had "NO IDEA" was having sex with a baby shower to prove the excitement and support for the child
So which is it?
Do we talk about sex and how to keep yourself properly protected or do we continue to ignore the elephant and bury our children and or their future. I believe any random 100 people in The Bahamas can be polled and I think it's safe to say that more than half of them will say their parents never had the "sex" talk with them.
What about you? Did your parents catch you getting familiar with your body and used it as a teachable moment?
It is the adults responsibility to share all we can with these children. We need to let them know the real about sex and encourage them to wait and IF they cannot wait to take every precaution out their to protect themselves. Ignorance is not bliss. Let them know they have the right to ask every question under the sun when it comes to protecting themselves and when any question becomes a problem to answer it is okay to walk away. Let them know monogamy is sometimes a one way street therefore wear condoms, girls - feel free to carry your own.
Let them know all you can about the birds, but never forget to tell them that the bee stings!
What about you? Did your parents catch you getting familiar with your body and used it as a teachable moment?
It is the adults responsibility to share all we can with these children. We need to let them know the real about sex and encourage them to wait and IF they cannot wait to take every precaution out their to protect themselves. Ignorance is not bliss. Let them know they have the right to ask every question under the sun when it comes to protecting themselves and when any question becomes a problem to answer it is okay to walk away. Let them know monogamy is sometimes a one way street therefore wear condoms, girls - feel free to carry your own.
Let them know all you can about the birds, but never forget to tell them that the bee stings!
