Be Alone...Without Being Lonely

Some of us find it a herculean task to be in the company of ourselves.  Yes! If you fall into any of these categories I mean you:
1. Must have company and gets sad without people around.
2. Always looking for group activities and can't remember the last time you did something solo.
3. You annoy you
4. 28yrs old, 7 partners - hasn't been single from 1990. (if you do the math you'll see how crazy this is)

Mind you the list can go on - I just can't, I gotta make my point before I lose ya.

So here it is, we find it hard to embrace being without a partner or friend or some other body because we become sad and lonely maybe even depressed. The yearning for companionship every minute of everyday can prove to be more detrimental than you think because once the person or people are gone, you feel empty. And "empty" is the operative word here because I'm not saying being in the company of others is bad or wrong, I'm saying without them, you are a shell of a person not even you can recognize.  So taking care of them, doing what they like and melting into them all became the centre of your world without you ever developing yourself.  It essential that we are able to be whole without having someone else there to complete us.  When you think about it, if you are a person that feels you need the company of others you'll realize that they are mere distractions for what's really going on with you. Sometimes we haven't dealt with a loss of some kind or some other trauma and being alone forces us to relive and ponder about those sometimes painful realizations. I want to reassure you though, being able to be alone without the feeling of loneliness is a gift that we can give ourselves that will never become stale, played out or boring.  You have the opportunity to develop skills and talents you never realized you had.  You may read a book that changes your life.  There's so much of you to discover.

And yea yea I know it's romantic and Hallmarkesque to tell your loved one, "you complete me" or "you're my better half" trust me I get it.  You want that person to know the depth of your love for them.  However, we must be reminded that if you are not our best selves, we can potentially be toxic to others. We should not lose ourselves in a person.  If you are a whole, you don't need them to complete you and that way, that person is a BONUS. Everyone likes bonuses!!

So embrace the gift of being happy with you. Learn your strengths, improve your weaknesses - find your passion and ignite your own fire.  When you have time to yourself, don't feel lonely - This is YOUR time.  Once you learn how to do this you'll fight for that alone time, and being alone CAN NEVER BE LONELY.

Nailed It: Pirates Edition

I went to cover my first video release party on the weekend (BIG SHOUT OUTS TO MY BOY TONASH) and I was really excited, sleepy, tired...but excited. It's so inspiring when people can follow their passions fearlessly.  And us in this small country (The Bahamas) should continue to support each other in positive movements.  You can read more about the party on http://www.elife242.com/tenacious-tonash-bahama-mama-video-release-party/.

Nowwwwwwww.....during the festivities I wandered upstairs to find a mini museum. There were photos of all sorts of pirates they taught me about in school that I completely blocked out of my memory database. I'm sure one was Anne Bonny...sighs, anyway, I took this opportunity to play with the pirates a bit and I totally NAILED IT!

Straight Talk with Angie

Recently, Angie has been a good girl. She has been allowing me to do top knots, flat twists and low ponies all with little coaxing. So I had an idea, let's go straight for a while.

WHAT??!!! Straighten stubborn Angie???

What was I thinking?

The last time I flat ironed my hair it was straight long enough for me to get out the chair.  LOL it's funny when I think about it cause I was just as excited this time.  See below:

Pictured below; left: natural ponytail with plait; right: flat iron pony after I chopped it off

The thing about straightening my hair is, she does NOT want to be straight. I'm convinced of it.  But I reallyyyyyy wanted to wear this cool new floppy hat ------}
and thought, cool weather in Ohio is perfect to test out my new Remington flat iron. My mistake was though, waiting until the day before my travels to flat iron Angie. I think I should have worn it straight the whole trip.  Anyway, went through the process....

 Pictured here thinking, "boy this ga be RIGHT!"

More contrast...

I pinned curled it after I got it as close to bone straight as I could. (which may not have been that straight considering I wasn't getting close to my scalp.) Woke up and it was in tack ( no photos because I was feeling ill).
Fast forward a bit after feeling illl most of the day, a day of traveling and meeting Nassau humidity and heat - my hair had frizzed --------}

Either way, I'm dealing with it because either way, I gotta be straight with ya, I love Angie wavy, kinky, curly or frizzy straight - cause she's all mine.

I Think I Love My Life

I was minding my own beeswax when a lady mouths to me, "OMG is that..? OMG! OMG!"






I wasn't too sure when the person passed me. I saw two beautiful girls. No security. So I'm like wait a minute, YES, YES it is. I completely forgot about all the nervous energy I was having.








I'm totally not groupie (as my babe joked and called me) but as he stood in front of me I was like, well this makes for a pretty interesting story. Of course I'm sure he didn't want to be bothered but I thought, how could I deprive my few readers of sharing this moment with me.






Soooooooooooooooooooooooo Happy Holidays from me and Chris freakin' Rock!


Everybody Hates Loves Chris (Kind enough to take a selfie with me and my festive antlers)

Poor Workmanship or DIY: Water & Sewerage

After a long day of waiting, anticipating the ever elusive end of work day, most people can not wait to take solace in their home. I assure you, I am no different. The stormy Monday, literally and figuratively made home even more inviting.  All the showers aside thank God we survived. 

But imagine my family's surprise however when we came home to a partially opening gate with dirt heaped in front of it.  Yes! We left an operational gate and came back to find mounds of dirt & mud piled to our front gate courtesy of Water & Sewerage.  They have left us in awe. We know they are conducting work to "better"the quality of water, so they say - but MY FATHER, how can they explain leaving the dirt to the gate. I had to squeeze my way into the gate, 2 more pounds and I would have had to sleep some where else cause I surely wasn't getting in there. I mean the dudes even left behind their shovels, must be to tell us handle that ourselves aye??  I was soooooooo upset, I started doing what I do best.  Please find below my letters to those "in charge":

Dear Hon. Jerome Fitzgerald I trust all is well with you however I am unable to share such a feeling. Water and sewerage has been working in our area since last week Friday and they have left our area and specifically in the front of our house a mess. I'm upset that after my mom was in the hospital for half the day and my father and I have been to work all day we have to squeeze through our gates. We are upset. We are disappointed. We are outraged. The fact that they feel it is okay to conduct such shoddy work astonishes me. I understand the work must be done but they could at least not pile the dirt right in front of our gates. I ask that you please assist in the matter. Attached please find pictures. Regards,

(Sent via Facebook NO RESPONSE)

A virtually identical letter was sent to the email address left by Water and Sewerage. 

To Whom it may concern:

Water and sewerage has been working in our area (Marathon) since last week Friday and Friday as well as today they left our area and specifically in the front of our house a mess. I'm upset that after my mom was in the hospital for half the day and  my father and I have been to work all day we have to squeeze through our gates. We are upset. We are disappointed. We are outraged. The fact that they feel it is okay to conduct such shoddy work astonishes me. I understand the work must be done but they could at least not pile the dirt right in front of our gates. I ask that you please assist in the matter.

Attached please find pictures. In the pictures you will see our gate is only able to open about a quarter. This shows lack of consideration for customers and people in general. I trust this will be resolved as it is a complete inconvenience.

Regards,

(The response to this email was answered almost immediately. I was so surprised I thought it was automated. I am pleased at the response of the email but still highly disappointed that no one has come to resolve the issue.)

As of the time of this post, the situation was only resolved by my father shoveling the dirt away in rain. Upset is an understatement. 

See photo below

People will probably think, "well that's government agencies for you" - but when will we ever get passed settling for subpar performances when we pay for services?? Someone needs to be held accountable.

The Birds & Bee Stings

                                                  Let's dive right in

A few days ago Charlie Sheen announced his HIV status, the internet/social media were all ablaze with the headlines "Charlie Sheen reveals he's HIV positive in TODAY Show exclusive". I watched clips and read some of the stories and I have nothing but well wishes for the man, not that he knows me or cares but anyone experiencing hardships in their lives deserve well wishes to be sent their way. (Side note - Prayers for World, because the fact people can argue over who should be prayed for baffles me. Pray when you want, for whoever you choose, last I checked that was a personal conversation between you and God - but I digress.) So anyway, the whole Sheen announcement urged me to come back to this post that was drafted for couple months now but I just couldn't seem to get my thoughts together.  So here they are, as together as they can be at this point...

It's the metaphorical elephant that never leaves the room.  SEX.  What happens when you have sex? Who to have sex with? When to have sex? SEX! Even typing it looks foreign and wrong. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder to ensure no one's reading "that word".  But it exists - duh.
I'm sure parents know that, but they would lead you to believe that they dreamed of you and then God blessed them with the precious gift

But what about making sure you have some knowledge of the topic. I often heard American sitcoms reference "the birds and the bees" talk but in Caribbean vernacular the sex talk more often than not comes after the deed has been done and consists of only the warnings "You betta not get pragnant (Lord I hate that)" or "You better not get no girl pragnant". The rules to live by. Then of course there's biology class which might I add most teenagers giggled through when sex came up.

There's so much more though; there's emotion, there's the awkwardness, there's protection, there's being brave enough to say no even if you said yes the first time, there's responsibility, there's the after, there's possibility of disease...

Yes. Disease. I think it's a fair assessment to say, especially in a small country such as the Bahamas that
there is still a stigma against those who suffer from Sexually transmitted illnesses (herpes etc) HIV & AIDS. With HIV people stutter to say the seemingly innocent letters arranged in a death sentence.
YET, the conversation of sex with your children remains a taboo.  Babies are a welcomed surprise from teenagers you had "NO IDEA" was having sex with a baby shower to prove the excitement and support for the child

So which is it?  

Do we talk about sex and how to keep yourself properly protected or do we continue to ignore the elephant and bury our children and or their future. I believe any random 100 people in The Bahamas can be polled and I think it's safe to say that more than half of them will say their parents never had the "sex" talk with them.

What about you? Did your parents catch you getting familiar with your body and used it as a teachable moment?

It is the adults responsibility to share all we can with these children. We need to let them know the real about sex and encourage them to wait and IF they cannot wait to take every precaution out their to protect themselves. Ignorance is not bliss. Let them know they have the right to ask every question under the sun when it comes to protecting themselves and when any question becomes a problem to answer it is okay to walk away. Let them know monogamy is sometimes a one way street therefore wear condoms, girls - feel free to carry your own.

Let them know all you can about the birds, but never forget to tell them that the bee stings!

Lunar Eclipse

I wasn't as hype as everyone else - in fact I said, I totally not a moon girl. But then I was a bit intrigued. Look at what I captured.

And this one I believe God held my hand still for...because this one is the best.

Protective Styles: Marley Braids/Twists

This has to be one of my favourite protective styles because it gave me absolutely no stress.  My marley braids were done by "DazzlingBraidsByNell" and she did a great job.  The very first shot is my hair the morning before.  

Preparing my hair:

1. washing - I gave Angie a good scrub 
2. conditioning - you can use a deep conditioner but I used my favourite which is also a leave in 
3. leave in - I rinsed most of the knot today out of my hair and hopped out the shower. While my hair was still wet I added more knot today as my leave in 
4. leave more in - because moisture is important and I was using the dreaded heat (which I don't dread at all) as I sectioned my hair I sprayed on 
5. stretching - because my hair has massive shrinking issues I decided to make it easy for the stylist and blow dried my hair with a regular Conair blow dryer. So I A)sectioned B)conditioned C)added an oil
6. Sealed - with this oil which has an anti breakage serum. & I used my Denman and pulled my hair out. 

Below is the result:

Marley style tiles

 

Bun & braid - this was cute, I hope you can see the braid at the back

The bee hive @ work

 Supporting the Thompson Family

Nico, Taureen Irvin & Me
SAS reunion tour

Headed to submerge these twists

Getting the marley hair wet - it wasn't as heavy as I thought 

The morning after the hair was drenched

Just showing you how much it's grown out

Then I took them all out - and got THIS: