Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Be Alone...Without Being Lonely

Some of us find it a herculean task to be in the company of ourselves.  Yes! If you fall into any of these categories I mean you:
1. Must have company and gets sad without people around.
2. Always looking for group activities and can't remember the last time you did something solo.
3. You annoy youImage result for side eyes
4. 28yrs old, 7 partners - hasn't been single from 1990. (if you do the math you'll see how crazy this is)

Mind you the list can go on - I just can't, I gotta make my point before I lose ya.

So here it is, we find it hard to embrace being without a partner or friend or some other body because we become sad and lonely maybe even depressed. The yearning for companionship every minute of everyday can prove to be more detrimental than you think because once the person or people are gone, you feel empty. And "empty" is the operative word here because I'm not saying being in the company of others is bad or wrong, I'm saying without them, you are a shell of a person not even you can recognize.  So taking care of them, doing what they like and melting into them all became the centre of your world without you ever developing yourself.  It essential that we are able to be whole without having someone else there to complete us.  When you think about it, if you are a person that feels you need the company of others you'll realize that they are mere distractions for what's really going on with you. Sometimes we haven't dealt with a loss of some kind or some other trauma and being alone forces us to relive and ponder about those sometimes painful realizations. I want to reassure you though, being able to be alone without the feeling of loneliness is a gift that we can give ourselves that will never become stale, played out or boring.  You have the opportunity to develop skills and talents you never realized you had.  You may read a book that changes your life.  There's so much of you to discover.

And yea yea I know it's romantic and Hallmarkesque to tell your loved one, "you complete me" or "you're my better half"Related image trust me I get it.  You want that person to know the depth of your love for them.  However, we must be reminded that if you are not our best selves, we can potentially be toxic to others. We should not lose ourselves in a person.  If you are a whole, you don't need them to complete you and that way, that person is a BONUS. Everyone likes bonuses!!

So embrace the gift of being happy with you. Learn your strengths, improve your weaknesses - find your passion and ignite your own fire.  When you have time to yourself, don't feel lonely - This is YOUR time.  Once you learn how to do this you'll fight for that alone time, and being alone CAN NEVER BE LONELY.


Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Better Than a Disney Princess

The debate over little black girls having their own Disney princesses to look up to has been hot. For so long our chocolate cuties have been enamoured by roles of Cinderella, Snow White, Belle and Arial to name a few. When the movie "Princess and the Frog" came out in 2009 little black girls of this time could lean a little closer to the screen as Princess Tiana, Disney's first black princess emerged. (I believe the closest we got was Pochantas, released 1995 - another great movieplease listen to my Poca jam https://youtu.be/diQgSDWJL7o) And I could go on for hours about what could have been changed but I won't...I'll just say it was a step in the right direction! 

In 2013, "Frozen" was released and the popularity of this movie was overwhelming and soon shifted Elsa & Anna into children's favourite princesses.  It was easy to fall in love with the icy Elsa and her long flowing braid (Anna's my fav tho) but my youngest niece ------}(this lil puddin pop) touched me deeply when she wanted her hair like Elsa's and her mother did a similar style to appease her but in her eyes, it was too far from Elsa's. It made me upset to know that she was unhappy with her hairstyle. My sis in law explained very well to her though that she can't be just like Elsa, and it's okay to be different. Later I told her I loved her hair, that she was beautiful, and looked wayyyyyy better than Elsa.

All this to say, I was inspired by my honey to be my own version of Elsa, I'm a princess my way. Hopefully every little girl is encouraged to love what she was blessed with. You're unique...enjoy it. You're better than a Disney Princess.

#blackgirlmagic