Lost You

they want me to believe that the emptiness will go away

that it will get better, it will be easier in time

but this pain

the pain that stretches from the back of my neck
to the tip of my tailbone, tells a different story

this pain has me paralyzed

I am numb but my heart feels so much
pain, disdain for myself

how can I believe this will get better

even the weather says differently

this love fickle as a thunderstorm during a summer  day

ended by a bright sun ray

rain like tears of an angel

did they lose him too

tapping on my window sill

silly me because I wish it were him

I suffer from anxiety, separation 

apart a part of me gone, and Lord knows I long for it

they all know I long for him

they say deny myself

hard to do when it was just you two

but easy for them to say while I lay

tear stained face, face it
its only been days but I miss him

it is evident, evidence everyone can see

that without him, I am not me

©Tia L. Clarke 2015 (revised)

Waist Trainers

I want to discuss: THE WAIST TRAINER, THE PHENOM, THE BREATH-TAKER.
Despite popular belief and the recent epidemic, this practice is not new.  In fact, waist training, though not thought of in the same light as today has been practiced for centuries.  Some were actually made of iron.  LOL yea ladies, #waistlineonfleek that!  Go on, wrap the metal bars around you and confine your waist to a #snatched prison.
Lol...seriously though, could you imagine the anguish??  It is believed that the popularity of them came from Europe during 16th century.

Please see below:

Enough of the history lesson.

In more recent times, women have been using this tool marketed to give women a more barbie silhouette, the coke bottle shape.

But I have news for you...

According to an article on http://news.health.com/2015/03/10/what-is-waist-training/ entitled "What You Should Know About Waist Training" Dr. Carol Apovian, M.D says, "If you're going out and want to look really thin, I don't see a problem with wearing one of these for an evening.” Apovian adds, that if too tight which most waist trainers appear to be "Your stomach might get pushed up beyond the diaphragm, which could cause reflux"  The article goes on to say that prolonged wear can even weaken your core.  
(No power with the belly yuck gals)


In a similar article on http://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/waist-training Jane Minkin, M.D., states, “Medically, it doesn’t make sense that cinching your waist tightly will make it permanently smaller.” 
Which of course I thought since when they come off the spillage continues - but I'll let the doctors speak#idigress
Minkin says, "Once you take the garment off, your body will return to its usual shape. It’s also uncomfortable, restricts your movements, and if you wear it really tight, it can even make it difficult to breathe and theoretically could cause rib damage.” 
Hmmmmmmm so waist shapers provide nothing more than temporary results?  And home gal still hungry through all this?

No thank you.

I do not want another person trying to sell me that organ shifter. Ok fine, you think it works for you. But I have been actively training my waist from my C.O.B.  I train it to expand to hold a little extra at the buffet. I train it to suck in when I'm taking pictures. And by not luck, but by practice and that training. I have perfected these things.  So no I do not desire to have my lungs in my throat and my stomach in my uterus #Illpass They just seem more like waste trainers than waist trainers.

My advice is eat right and try to add some activity to your life to increase health benefits. Lord knows I need to.

#waisttrainers #wastetrainers #catchyourbreath # organshifter #idontdodisclaimers

Highlights & Back Bites - Bahamas Junkanoo Carnival

Back Bites

Last I checked, I was grown (don't tell my daddy).  Therefore my people if I decide to go every single night to Bahamas Junkanoo Carnival by way of support or curiosity: I shall be there.  We're all entitled to our opinions which is why I continue to try to see others point of view.

Soooooooooooooooooo for those who said Bahamians are stupid, they have no identity and they can't believe they went there to support that "foolishness": SHUT UP!  If you're unwilling to listen to someone's reasoning or cause for participating your opinion just became even more irrelevant aka I can't even hear you.

Honestly, you can't shed light on anything to individuals who believe they know it all, so why waste time and God's good breath.  Be calm, walk away - I certainly had to.  I am a changed woman.

Baha-men's 90 min performance.  The Baha-men lead man even said it was too long (chal don't ask, Ine know what that was about).  I agree but I'm conflicted because I know how important it is for people to receive your craft favourably.  And I did get some shakin' up on.  So if anyone who knows them reads this - let them know we love them, we love their music - but the set was too long.  No hate.

Sammi Starr winning - once again no hate.  In terms of Carnival get loose music his song didn't do it, it gave a groove feeling not Lucism.  I believe though that Sony had a hand in the decision.  The real winner based on the crowd, Colyn McDonald, wouldn't fit the Sony brand (check a snippet on http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_srch_drd_B001M5KQCO/183-3748529-7724532?ie=UTF8&field-keywords=Colyn%20Mcdonald&index=digital-music&search-type=ss )  There's no way for Sony to market him, they wouldn't take on that headache.
Talented guy though <iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SRP44xwD_nw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> btw he's a member of Visage (vocals and keyboards).

9 million dollar price tag.  It hurts to know that it was so expensive and the money wasn't pumped into other things example: Junkanoo, Education, and the list could go on for forever but I do pray that it somehow was beneficial, which I think it can be.  I would like to have an account for every penny though. Just saying.

Highlights

So why they had me singing Golden Girls theme song: I missed my Ethel at that time, because I'm Lucy @ Tamara - don't forget it!

All performers especially Ronnie Butler who I regrettably admit I watched from home & Machelllllllllllllll Montano.
I'm not kidding when I say everyone was bringing their A game and I salute them cause I couldn't do it.

Party Like Ah Boss: Bahamas Junkanoo Carnival

As one of my dates to Junkanoo Carnival weekend said ALL THE TIME:

LISTEN...(just go with it!)

I haven't stayed out until the wee hours in YEARS but despite not being able to feel my legs, and having a hell of a sore throat.  I partied like ah bosssss, and gone home horse (btw bosses be in general too)

Firstly, I wasn't so sure if I'd go however, the Junkanoo Carnival party coaxed me out of my humble abode.  Pure curiosity - Curiosity didn't kill me, but I'm sure maimed.  I had a pre-JC jump off at work Wednesday night. That was cool, a little Junkanoo, even less food - THANKS TOTERS!

On Thursday, after much thinking and rethinking me and my old gal from back in da day decided to head out to the festivities.  Things started off slowly.  One of my school mates I haven't seen in ages asked, "how you enjoying the fair?" I could only laugh - shortly there after another friend walks up and asked, "what is this?"  When the performances started though we couldn't help but to get LOOSE.  Whenever it got too hot the drone flew over our heads and provided much needed breeze. Highlight: Alison Hinds still rolling it and it was awesomeness.

Friday, the most exercise I've had in years - yup gym membership, trainer and all.  The standing was dreadful.  I felt like I never left from Thursday night.  I wore my Nike tennis and looked in awe at the wedged heel wearers. I can't imagine what their feet felt like because with cushion holding me up I nearly didn't survive.

I must mention that everyone from Freddie Munnings to the PM got booed, it caught me off guard but it was funny as hell.  I think it was because of irritation.  Also, Colyn McDonald was amazing - shade like a sky scraper!

What I thought would end my Friday night, Baha-men!!!! They almost take me out.  Though I support them 100% they didn't realize they WERE NOT headliners.  Paul Major must have told them otherwise because dudes were singing songs we knew, songs we didn't know, songs they didn't know.  I was exhausted.  Every time I thought they were leaving, they appreciated us some more with gyration and stuff.  Some people said it was a trade off due to the inability to get payment they wanted but it wasn't my fault.  I shouldn't have to suffer because of poor negotiations.  I mean a lady next to me leaned on her man knocked the hell out - quite possibly a combination of rum, exhaustion and boredom.  For me, standing still hurt too bad so I danced anyway.

We were tired of waiting on Machel Montano.  The disgust was building.  Our minds ran wild: maybe they didn't pay him, maybe he cancelled, ya think he got sick....BUT WHEN HE CAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE; PARTEE DUN! I can honestly say I enjoyed that.  (went on punishment almost instantly for my 5 am return home)

I got no further than the front room - I was done.  So by the time Saturday 11 am rolled around the parade was not even on my radar.  BEC!  I need not elaborate.  So Sunday when my 88 years old grammy was giving me the juice on the parade - I said well look who really partying like ah boss.  Next year, look out for me and my mama on the parade a, lol.

Helpful Tips (to the party planners as Juan McCartney called them, agreed)

1. More garbage bins - I hate litter bugs & don't litter. I had to walk 3 miles to find one friggin garbage bin that was in VIP that they didn't allow us to throw the garbage in.  So I walked 2 more miles to find one hidden behind a bar.

2. Rethink the name - Perhaps it's too late but I don't think the name is well suited.  It was a festival sorta thing with Carnival incorporated one day.  I could be wrong but it doesn't fit.

3. Leave the children at home - I never felt that children need to be out until 1, 2 3 am.  The old saying, "they too forward" has never been so true.  The masses may have found it cute that a 4 year old is dutty whining on stage at 2 am but to me, it's not.  I pray he knows that his mother's name is not mummy.

4. Better entry system - Yall two metal detectors ain ga work! That is all.

Me and Plati-dread, no Kia, I didn't make him up (my forehead always been that big?)

My Lucies - Niquita B (photographer) Kia (passport constructor, lol)

MEEEEEEEEEEEE 

Modern Day Slavery

I BELIEVE IN BAHAMIANS!

Is that the same Bahamians you let gas companies come through neighbourhoods and pollute the water?  Or maybe it's the Bahamians that you allow foreign investors to come in and build resorts Bahamians can only afford to see the inside of if they work there?  No?  Well maybe it's the Bahamians that you encourage to come out and vote on a referendum only to turn around and do the opposite of their votes. Oh let's not forget the belief that selling islands and cays is some how "empowering".

What is it about our country that makes our leaders, passed & present believe we are only well suited as room attendants and bell hops?  Before any corns start bleeding - I have the utmost respect for ANY form of LEGAL work.  We all need to support our families.  The issue I have is when I hear our "leaders" say there are no skilled Bahamians in certain areas when they only train in areas of servitude.

If I have a child today or tomorrow and they say, mummy I want to be anything respectable.  I'll say baby it's possible!  I'll remind him/her that they must work hard. Strive for excellence and pride in their work. I will not be a spoke in that wheel.  I will also not allow my child believe that he/she is limited to anything under this sun.

The wheel of confusion continues to spin when they urge highest possible education yet increase college fees, are incapable of providing jobs or actually provide jobs that will pay you what you deserve.  How then can I get this coveted education to on a work on dead mediocre job that was glamorized by campaigns paid for with my blue collared parents hard earned taxes?

I suggest we pump life into our nation by investing in something more than hospitality.  BAMSI was a great idea if only that wasn't botched up.

When will puppets of our country stop selling our land and giving our children into a life of slavery.  Things are crumbling around us: BEC's new management slated to send people home,  Bahamar remains unopened evoking bad publicity,  BTC gearing up for redundancy of hundreds. 

Looks to me that we need more than rich politicians believing in us. Shoots soon enough they'll have to support us.

#idontdodisclaimers