Jessie J backing vocalist inspiration - Gotta Be True to Yourself

There's a pureness in their voices I can not put into words and from I first heard this - I was enamored and played it like 50 times - no breaks! And they inspired this....

Days seem a haze
lack luster
lost the glaze
dreams replaced
by issues faced
monetarily no gain
sense lapsed
loved a fool, fool left
the only thing that went right
hardened by love loss
lovers lied
could fill stadiums with tears cried
tried to change
built a wall...
       but I urge you
let it crumble
let it fall
you were meant to be
strong
not stone
don't let hardships in life
crush your soul
you were meant to be
the best version
       of who you are

I've heard this song before, and I loved it then but it's like the combination of their voices bestowed a gift of clarity right before me.  As most of us often do, in navigation of this crowded yet lonely world, we try to find our footing.

We dream.
We aspire.
We work.

Sometimes it feels like it's going no where. It feels like you're climbing an active volcano with bricks on your back. And just as you feel like those bricks can get no heavier - you are given another load. I understand. I get it. But in order for you to get where you are supposed to be you have to weather this journey. When I discuss my discontent with my best friend sometimes he seems so insensitive. He's like well you know what you want, you have to do it - put in the work. I wanna say shut up and tell me, "there there - you're right. it's okay." However, I understand that sometimes I need to hear those things so I can refocus and just be the best of myself. I can't allow people's actions to dictate who I am or who I become.

I am a work in progress, but I'm not hiring - God's got the job!

Untitled (for the moment)

I carry. Upon my back, in my gut, and in my head, a hatred so deep
Into every inch of my existence it seeps

No common sense, perhaps no strength, to relieve myself of this disdain
Instead I choose to remember the pain

No gain of course, in remembering all that I have lost
For carrying this hatred is the biggest cost

I pay everyday, in some sort of way
Losing my grip 'cause of failure to pray

Yearning to lift myself above this seething, soon I won't be able to hear my heart beating
hatred hardens me, what a wonder I'm breathing

This can very well cost my death
holding on to something, that has already left

How does one break free? From chains of lessons learned
moving on from bridges burned

There is nothing more, nothing more but an ash of hate
I have heaped it on my plate,

"Move forward", they say, "it's never too late
That remains the great debate.

©Tia Clarke 2015

And We Made Love

worst enemy

best friend

best poet

high expectations

trying all she can to make him climax

explode his ink

onto her paper

tied together by what tears them apart

a heart

a pen

a paper

crumpled together

between the thighs of an innocent girl

beautifully corrupted

by a poet

fiddler on the roof

proof

that she has learned something

however minute

the hours at Sine Qua Non

grew in two

years of

nurturing the writer

she is finding her voice

a strong whisper

between these sheets

of paper

©Tia Clarke 2012

Meghan Trainor - Like I'm Gonna Lose You ft. John Legend

Tomorrow is not promised
and I promise
to never compromise our love

This treasure, truly
a pleasure that is all ours
sweet chocolate bars

songs on acoustic guitars
played to hold beauty
I urge you, hold my hand

place a band
That'll bind us together
love without measure

unconditional, without pressure
forever never seems long
when we're together

so say "forever"
because I will love you, for better, forever
everyday, like I'm going to lose you

©Tia Clarke 2015

I'm Wayyyyyy Up - Blessings [CLEAN] (ft. Drake)

I have issues, but I'm blessed
I have problems, fears and ailments but I'm blessed
Some days I'm a mess
But like Alicia Keys I put that S on my Chest
I'm still blessed

Sometimes life becomes a tougher journey than I feel I can handle
Life more in shambles than the series Scandal
I feel sad, angry, confused
Remembering all the times I was used
I'm still blessed

Feel like I'm going no where
and going off a cliff the same time
working every darn day
but can't save a dime.
I'm still blessed

Feel like I'm going backwards into quicksand
can't stand - no escape plan
handcuffs would be more freeing, redeeming
I need a change but no sight of it revealing
I'm still blessed

Blessed and Thankful!


Many aspects of our life may be on target with goals we've set but then there's that one thing that won't match up so it haunts us.  I understand those feelings,  I get it.  But let's not forget that no matter how bad things seem we are truly blessed.

I remember listening to a preacher saying that you will be blessed, you're blessings are coming in a form of a new job, a new car etc...and I thought about this.  I thought we become jaded and disregard the other blessings.  Blessings happen throughout our daily lives but that yearning, that inevitable yearning for more (which is fine in some regards) we don't take the time to acknowledge the fact that we woke up, we saw, we placed our feet on solid ground, we took a bath, we probably were able to kiss our mother, held the hand of a lover - those are all blessings, think of how losing anyone of those examples would take away from your life.  So this post, the above poem - it's all just to give thanks.

Thank God I'm so blessed.

Electricity

Short but sweet. Like me.
A little poetry.

He's Not the Man I Met

People change
People will sometimes rearrange
your life,
while remaining the same
blame the universe
it's spun out of control
roles shifted
he's changed his goals
traded his wooden cross for gold
all about the bling
all about this ting dat ting
still
no wedding ring
but you stay committed
no needs met
but you stay well kept
with things
attention to everything but you
never asks how you really feel boo
but you stick with him
stuck like glue
gum at the bottom of his shoe
the further he walks
the farther he is away from you

But you stay in the grass waiting
thinking
he'll return
he's not the man you met
but he's a lesson you learned

Change isn't always for the better

Tell me people, what do you do if your significant other is not the man you met?

It's 2/5 or maybe 10 years after you've met who you believed to be the love of your life and you realize, this is not the man(or woman) I met.  How do you rebuild, continue, or discontinue.  What exactly becomes the course of action.

Personally, if I get married I pray I it doesn't end in divorce.  But this is such a valid question, at stages in your life you want certain things, you have specific aspirations.  You can't swear for yourself that 5 years from now you won't do a complete 180 and say hey, I've changed my mind - I don't want children anymore or I don't want blah blah....you know what I'm saying.  Same goes for your spouse. Maybe it isn't even goals, maybe it's upkeep - we all know life shifts, maybe your guy was a fitness buff, 3 years down the line he's like eff it "baby pass me that beer while I lay down with chips on my belly scratching my nuts".  Men normally say women let themselves go but I think it's safe to say we both can be guilty.  Another scenario - basic how's your day going random text.  Granted if you live with the guy you don't need a play by play of his day - but we sometimes start taking our loves for granted, a random whatsapp can really delay that cussing your woman had for her co worker - just saying.  But no, you've gone from play by play, to random, to mudda sick what my wife number is again.

So what then?

This is one topic I'd like to hear people views on.

Meanwhile, here's my take.  If you're committed and your friendship with that person is solid - you communicate how you feel and work towards making it better.
OR you may just have to move on
I can't think of anything else.

Lost You

they want me to believe that the emptiness will go away

that it will get better, it will be easier in time

but this pain

the pain that stretches from the back of my neck
to the tip of my tailbone, tells a different story

this pain has me paralyzed

I am numb but my heart feels so much
pain, disdain for myself

how can I believe this will get better

even the weather says differently

this love fickle as a thunderstorm during a summer  day

ended by a bright sun ray

rain like tears of an angel

did they lose him too

tapping on my window sill

silly me because I wish it were him

I suffer from anxiety, separation 

apart a part of me gone, and Lord knows I long for it

they all know I long for him

they say deny myself

hard to do when it was just you two

but easy for them to say while I lay

tear stained face, face it
its only been days but I miss him

it is evident, evidence everyone can see

that without him, I am not me

©Tia L. Clarke 2015 (revised)

State Of Mind

lay awake
consciously

unconscious
in the shirt I wore
yesterday
rich in the aroma of you
cocooned in your arms
although your miles away
a day
an hour
a minute
all too long to see you again
lover, best friend
eyes piercing through
the images in my day dreams
best day dream
scenes
remains
with me even when
I finally drift
to sleep
unconscious
conscious only
of my love
for you

*dedicated to PD aka BUDDDDD

I Want a Man

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