Day 1: Stella Maris, Long Island

Enjoying Island life...excuse the disorder I'm working on my phone

You know I love my belly: thin crust salami tomato n ham

Mumsie showing off

Water looking loverly

First time on a bike in years: the struggle 

Headed to a cave

Who doesn't like complimentary: fruits n drinks; the take off - doesn't the plane blades remind you of eye lashes, what a view!

Caves: guess who's scared

Connecting with my inner child

Dinner with my lady: daiquiris 1 mummy none lol 2 each and no repeats

Then we found Irvin n Shaun

My hair aka Angie wanted to make an appearance

The view from the restuarant

That person in the back of me feeling tipsy

Good night blog readers, until tomorrow's adventures

I'm Wayyyyyy Up - Blessings [CLEAN] (ft. Drake)

I have issues, but I'm blessed
I have problems, fears and ailments but I'm blessed
Some days I'm a mess
But like Alicia Keys I put that S on my Chest
I'm still blessed

Sometimes life becomes a tougher journey than I feel I can handle
Life more in shambles than the series Scandal
I feel sad, angry, confused
Remembering all the times I was used
I'm still blessed

Feel like I'm going no where
and going off a cliff the same time
working every darn day
but can't save a dime.
I'm still blessed

Feel like I'm going backwards into quicksand
can't stand - no escape plan
handcuffs would be more freeing, redeeming
I need a change but no sight of it revealing
I'm still blessed

Blessed and Thankful!


Many aspects of our life may be on target with goals we've set but then there's that one thing that won't match up so it haunts us.  I understand those feelings,  I get it.  But let's not forget that no matter how bad things seem we are truly blessed.

I remember listening to a preacher saying that you will be blessed, you're blessings are coming in a form of a new job, a new car etc...and I thought about this.  I thought we become jaded and disregard the other blessings.  Blessings happen throughout our daily lives but that yearning, that inevitable yearning for more (which is fine in some regards) we don't take the time to acknowledge the fact that we woke up, we saw, we placed our feet on solid ground, we took a bath, we probably were able to kiss our mother, held the hand of a lover - those are all blessings, think of how losing anyone of those examples would take away from your life.  So this post, the above poem - it's all just to give thanks.

Thank God I'm so blessed.

We The People: Created Inequality

It angers me to hear people exclaim in disbelief because someone that went to a private school ended up in some deep doodoo as if some how being afforded the opportunity to have a privately paid education shields you from the temptations of crime and immoral behavior.  Or that some how having a school fee or rich daddy creates a person with only good moral beliefs and sensible law abiding decision making.  Let's not forget that it's unbelievable that crimes can be committed by those that are rich and influential.  It could never be right? Let me sarcastically chuckle....ha ha ha.

What angers me most about statements like "oh he was a private school boy, how'd he get mix up in things like that..." -direct quote, believe me, and those similar thereto is that a supposedly "educated" person actually believes this.  This proves there is a difference between sense, cents and sensibility a gap between brilliance and brain matter.

We have have been conditioned to believe that because of money, social standings and careers we are some how different.  That if the CEO walks in the room we should all stand to our feet and clammer to say good morning when those same ones clammering for the CEO's attention passes their peers desks daily without uttering a word.  Or that a pastors wife of 5 years can give more sound advice than aunt Gwen (my real aunty btw) who has been in a successful marriage with your uncle for 30 years, suffered through and survived cancer all while her husband stood lovingly by her side.

Some how we continue to allow titles to categorizes us in matter of importance and significance to the world when it is your deeds and love for the world that should determine how your viewed. Money, social standings, our careers - all merely create a division between already complex people who during life often battling the same demons in different forms.  Don't let a title fool you, people are actually, it is our decisions that really set us apart.  We make choices that determine whether we'll be the best version of ourselves, or the worst - or maybe some where in between.

Think about this - there is the inevitable faith we can never escape: Death.  You may find peace when your end comes but it surely comes.  Even if you get a big enough coffin to hold all your earthly possessions, it means nothing.  Respect is given where it is earned and if you can only respect a man because of his earthly wealth, the titles he carries or where he went to school then shallow person, good luck on the other side. You have successfully perpetuated the inequality in our neighbourhoods, communities, and in our country.

Yes! I blame people...it's certainly not a dog that wags only for the billionaires, tigers will not choose to rip a man apart because he does or does not carry the title of Dr.  We The People, created inequality.  We have done so with race, religion and a gamut of other discriminatory premises.  So if you believe yourself inferior because your suits weren't tailored made, or perhaps your parents couldn't afford a private school education for you - you are wrong.  You are NOT inferior.  You DO matter.  We The People: Are Created Equal.  Once again, whether you choose to be a villain or hero is all up to you, and that is how I create a division.

The only power someone has over you, to believe that they are some how superior to you, comes from the power that you gave them.  Respect people's accomplishments, respect the good they stand for but never minimize or erase your own accomplishments.

Just don't be no teef cause ma'boy - I can't stand a teef.

#Idontdodisclaimers

eFF Your Romance

Have you ever had that moment where the world says you should be wishing your ex and their new boo well, saying "hey congratulations, you two look so cute together" but honestly, you just want to tell them & their "newly knit family" and "best friend" go to hell.

Thanks social media - click - unfollow.
Click - follow.
I want to know just when this shi....p collapses so I can be there to sweep it in his face/her face, who's ever face.

How dare they replace you right? Wasn't even good enough to date you right?
Should have never let your guard down.  For that damn clown.
Played.
Just enough smiles and sweet talks to get the P.
And you use a capital letter because it IS that good

That's not nice...
Click - unfollow
Click - follow

No!
You're not jealous.

You're actually in love with your best friend who's given you a fairy tale you didn't even know was possible and you even tend to question it every now and then - that's how amazing your love is!
However, the last thing you want to be dumped on your desk on a Monday morning or ANY MORNING is an exes triumphant relationship.  Especially after what happened between you two, or didn't happen - or almost happened.

I mean it doesn't hurt to know little things, right. Out to dinner with Bae. Bae fell asleep on the couch. Bae got me ice cream. Bae on fleek.  MCM Bae. WCW Bae. Love you to the moon and back bae. oHHHHHHHHH for the love of Moses, shut up already.

eFF YOUR ROMANCE!!

I completely understand this process.  This is what I'll call the post traumatic break up break down. It's not surprising that most women and some men experience those same cyclone emotions.  You're happy but you almost find your ex's happiness disgusting and downright disrespectful.  It's okay to mourn the loss of what you thought was good.  Because at the time, it felt good. Now stop it!
You are driving yourself crazy.  Just as you have the right to be happy, your ex has that right.  And as much as you want to say eFF their romance, you'll be effing yours too if you decide to dwell on their love.  Don't stalk what they do.  STOP caring about their movements, accomplishments and the like. Focus on your lover.  Concentrate on your movements, your goals - and you'll find yourself basking in a beautiful light.  YOU ARE where you're supposed to be.  Be happy!

Click - unfollow
You've regained your sanity.

No you can say eff Your Romance to any ex without malice, while enjoying yours.
~xoxo~

I BAKED: Oreo Cheesecake Cupcakes/S'more Cheesecake Cupcakes

If you're watching your figure - the title says Oreo Cheesecake, this just ain't that type of recipe.  Moving on.... Here's how to make one of the easiest enjoyable tooth decays you'll ever have (they really aren't THAT sweetREALLY):

Ingredients
2 eggs
1/2 cup of sour cream
1/4 cup of powered sugar (feel free to dump what ever sugar you want in there)
2 8oz packets of cream cheese (Bahamian house temperature)
1 1/2 cup or milk
18-20 oreos
4-6 graham crackers
marshmallows
chocolate chips
1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla
a shake of salt, same as pinch
cupcake cups :-D

makes 2 yummy dozenz

So I whisked away at my cream cheese, sour cream, milk, butter, eggs, confectioners sugar (powdered sugar) and got tired - down came the mixer.  Smoothed that sucker right out.

This really didn't require much work at all - after all the those things are successfully blended then you have fun smashing cookies.

Wait....save some of the cookies for placing at the bottom of the cupcake liners - I used 12.  There's a way to make a smooth little graham cracker bottom but it was hot so I broke the crackers up into squares and put them to the bottom of the remainder of the cupcake liners.

Continue smashing -

I had two bowls - 1. oreo mixture 2. plain mixture

Pour #1. mixture over the top of the oreo cookie
Pour #2. mixture over the top of the graham cracker - now with this one for the s'more effect I layered in the ingredients

• Graham cracker bottom 
• cheesecake filling 
• chocolate
• marshmallows 
• cheesecake filling
• top with graham cracker crumbs/blueberries

Bake at 300 degrees for about 30 minutes - I think, just keep watching 'um.  Use a toothpick to make sure the centre isn't runny - take them out - tell everyone your mother no she can't have one because they have to cool down then go in the fridge for 4 or more hours.

exactly four hours later - EAT

Next time I promise to have pictures of the process. Credit to my inspiration on Pinterest!!!https://www.pinterest.com/pin/290763719669797857/ with a chocolate topping

Sunday Was a Circus

My Sunday was FULL...

I baked

I cleaned - no explanation needed

(but just know - I broke a sweat)

I circused? Circused?  Anyway I went to Emanji Circus show at The National Centre for Performing Arts on Shirley St. Nassau Bahamas.  More people should support these talented group of people.  http://emanjicircusarts.com/upcoming-shows.html I was excited to take pictures with the cast like a groupie.  

I even had time to chill with family. Great day!
I didn't mention that I also watched 2 movies with my sweet ting, lol: Jurassic World & Lila and Eve.

I had this long review on both movies that was swept into cyber space so now I'm annoyed but I'll say these important points.

Jurassic World pales in comparison to Jurassic Park, don't worry about which Jurassic Park just thank the Lord for the last fight scene and Guardian of the Galaxy Guy cause as I realized, I can never get my 2 hrs back.  I am waiting though for the human that really creates this park so I can go on the next side of the world.  Don't say ya saw it here first, so you could come blame the prophetess  - yea, I said it.

On to the next film...

Lila and Eve - amazing, 3 thumbs up if I have another thumb, please don't judge me.  It was that good.  I think some young men need to watch this, and maybe then their decision making would be much better.  I knew what was going on and was still thoroughly entertained.  I won't be a spoiler - look it up.

Below there's more pictures of MOI

 

I Hate My Birthdays

Above you will see one of the sweetest gifts I've ever received on my birthday.  The saying, "it's the thought that counts" is not merely cliche.  It is real.  I greatly appreciated everything I got and even just the words of dear friends that didn't forget me but it all made me think.

When I was younger birthdays were never really that big of a deal. Sometimes my family celebrated, sometimes they didn't - It didn't matter because my parents have always been extremely good at rewarding good grades or doing the random gift thing.  Plus I was never a child that wanted for much.

So fast forwarding to adulthood and the juncture of life where I believe growing pains should have ended, I Hate My Birthdays.
Of course I'm thankful for life - I'm very thankful, Thank God, I've seen another year.  But that doesn't change the gray cloud that follows me the weeks leading up to the day and remains hovered over my head for weeks after.  It's like birthdays are just a reminder of what I haven't accomplished and how closer to death I am. 
I mean seriously, it's not like I got balloons, cake and ice cream!!!  I got, "girl you almost 30", "you better hurry up have some babies", "when you getting married nah" <--------- SEE WHAT I MEAN

Then - try this on for size: I celebrate my birthday with my grammy.  Do I even need to elaborate?? No one cares that I'm turning 20 anything because no matter what my grammy will be turning 80 something.  No really!!! I turned 21, Mama turned 81 - 25, yup mathematician you're right, Mama turned 85.  LOL one year my family had a party for her I was barely invited to and I think I may have gotten one happy birthday.
I cherished sharing this day with my grammy, in many ways I still do, it made me feel like something special - especially cause I didn't really celebrate- NOW?  My selfish side kinda just wanna push that bish back a day or two.

So that's why I hate my birthdays.
But I shouldn't.

All the internal grappling with career or lack there of, anxiety and what ever else should never deter me from enjoying any day with the living.  I should enjoy time with AMAZING ppl who makes videos of/for me.  I should enjoy time with my grammy who treasures the fact that I was "her gift".  I promise next year.  I'll be better.

Electricity

Short but sweet. Like me.
A little poetry.

Angie Says: Here's How I Transitioned

I have to do some mad memory freestyle because I can barely recall being anything but natural.  Butttttt there was a time.
A time long ago when straight hair roamed my scalp.
When I could put my hair in buns with no frizz outs.
When I sat in a salon with the urge to scratch my hair moments before that no lye relaxer.
When the sun shined down on my hair and it could blind my man with it's sheen. Turn to your neighbour and say, I know that's right! :D

Ok....this was requested so I'm gonna try to make it the best I can.

When I transitioned  it was wayyyyy before all these videos and tutorials.  So what worked for me was gelling this sucker every day into a bun.  And no I do not have pictures, grab some Ampro and a sock, roll that sucker up - Bam, style. Yea at the end of the week I was lil itchy, but dirt grow me.

When I got tired of  the bun I rocked some braids.  I never used these edge controls and stuff, I did as I wished, so I looked like a fur ball, on the bright side though I did not have gunk build up on my edges.  (I honestly don't like the edge controls and gels on the perimeter of the braids.)

....that was all I really did when I was weening myself off of relaxer in grade 9.

Tip: Braid your natural hair and put rollers on the straight ends, you can pin up the braids in various ways and let the curls fall.  

Now, I had another time I could recall when I semi transitioned.  That story is coming another time.  But the best advice I can give is make sure keep your hair moisturized so it doesn't break off.  I suggest box braids because it gives you access to your natural hair & they're easy to take out.  Depending on your preference you can do afro kinky extensions - I don't do them because I had them once and started to break so they were taken out after about 2 days.  It could have very well been the braider so another tip is, make sure your hair isn't tight.  Tight = breakage. You can very well gain length but your edges will be stressed.  Make sure they're secure but if you went in Bahamian and exit looking Asian  - it's too tight boo.

Here are some products that I use/d to care for/maintaining braids:

smells delightful, light weight, no residue, $$$, got mine from wholefoods, fairly new to me (like 4 years maybe)
the younger me swore by this stuff, will leave residue on your hair and every where else, good to use when doing twist extensions, no scent, $, also used this to "slick" down my buns, beauty supply store
same concept as it's brother up there but more lightweight, leave less of a residue but still heavy, $, no scent, same uses, beauty supply store
I don't wanna lie - it was one of this I think??
It was years ago I used it though so don't judge me.  But they have some pretty good ones out there so you can check the market and see what works for you. Happy Transitioning.

Go for the Championship Ring

Constantly our parents drill into us how education, manners and hard work pay off.  So, you pursue education, you never forget your manners and consistently work hard...only to be passed over, walked on and patronized by "good job" statements issued by the "bosses" that have been granted kisses due to favour.  It doesn't always go that way but it's not a rare anecdote.  I do believe though that all those things my parents taught me are of value and grooms a well rounded individual.

In fact, I do not want to be anyone's favourite. My goal has been to show up for the game, play as hard as I can, shoot and pass when necessary.  It's not always easy but you have to continue to remember yourself, that's what organizations do - they remember profits.  People scoffed at LeBron James' decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers. WAIT - NO THROWING STONES, let me finish.  They called him a traitor and burned his jersey.  What they gained, I'll never know.  James however gained two championships with the Miami Heat.

In my opinion everyone has to make the decisions that are most beneficial to the growth and development of themselves and their family.  In the Bahamas, we tend to be creatures of habit and we love our country and proximity to our family because of the ease it grants us in many areas of life. You know baby sitting cheaper with grammy.  There's nothing wrong with that!  But if you've reached your peak in your career, it's okay to move on.

Why settle?
Loyalty? Of course, but on certain levels without being disloyal to yourself

For the most part companies feel everyone is replaceable. If they feel they can get more money into their pockets, they don't give two flying fairies about you - though they do a good job of making you believe that they do, but you can tell if it's a facade.

Your loyalty is to you and making your situation sound enough for you to remain sane in this sometimes bitter world.  Never be afraid to switch teams, shoot - start your own team, because like LeBron James, you may end up with championship rings.

#motivation

He's Not the Man I Met

People change
People will sometimes rearrange
your life,
while remaining the same
blame the universe
it's spun out of control
roles shifted
he's changed his goals
traded his wooden cross for gold
all about the bling
all about this ting dat ting
still
no wedding ring
but you stay committed
no needs met
but you stay well kept
with things
attention to everything but you
never asks how you really feel boo
but you stick with him
stuck like glue
gum at the bottom of his shoe
the further he walks
the farther he is away from you

But you stay in the grass waiting
thinking
he'll return
he's not the man you met
but he's a lesson you learned

Change isn't always for the better

Tell me people, what do you do if your significant other is not the man you met?

It's 2/5 or maybe 10 years after you've met who you believed to be the love of your life and you realize, this is not the man(or woman) I met.  How do you rebuild, continue, or discontinue.  What exactly becomes the course of action.

Personally, if I get married I pray I it doesn't end in divorce.  But this is such a valid question, at stages in your life you want certain things, you have specific aspirations.  You can't swear for yourself that 5 years from now you won't do a complete 180 and say hey, I've changed my mind - I don't want children anymore or I don't want blah blah....you know what I'm saying.  Same goes for your spouse. Maybe it isn't even goals, maybe it's upkeep - we all know life shifts, maybe your guy was a fitness buff, 3 years down the line he's like eff it "baby pass me that beer while I lay down with chips on my belly scratching my nuts".  Men normally say women let themselves go but I think it's safe to say we both can be guilty.  Another scenario - basic how's your day going random text.  Granted if you live with the guy you don't need a play by play of his day - but we sometimes start taking our loves for granted, a random whatsapp can really delay that cussing your woman had for her co worker - just saying.  But no, you've gone from play by play, to random, to mudda sick what my wife number is again.

So what then?

This is one topic I'd like to hear people views on.

Meanwhile, here's my take.  If you're committed and your friendship with that person is solid - you communicate how you feel and work towards making it better.
OR you may just have to move on
I can't think of anything else.