The Passing of an Angel

Monday, March 30th 2015 my classmate died.  I cringe as I type the words because I was hopeful for her, for faith in God  and his teachings made me hopeful.  The word says if you believe and call on his name, he will hear your call.  I believe he did.  However, though faith never wavered and as if Monday mornings aren't hard enough, Tamaz Thompson passed away.  I refuse to say she lost her battle with cancer.  Because I wholeheartedly believe that cancer lost.  It no longer has the power to make her suffer, it's ugliness can no longer wake up beside her trying to mock all she has done. Cancer has no power.  CANCER LOST...cancer lost to this beautiful woman.

I started to write a status on Facebook only to be halted.  I just couldn't find words to say to capture the disbelief I had.  There is no status long enough, no words, no phrases to encompass the level of hurt people feel who knew and loved Tamaz.

On the ride from Tamaz's fundraiser, Kia said "why her..." and I said I believe there is a lesson in this because someone with such exemplary character had to fight this battle for us to see that pettiness and anger are not worth it.  We should be like Tamaz, happy, sweet, loving, brave....our smiles should infect people so that it has more power than cancer ever could.  That is the legacy Tamaz leaves.  If no one remembers anything else, they remember how sweet she was, that genuine smile. Knowing Tamaz makes me want to be a better more positive person not only for myself but for others.

In an effort to help her family Tamaz put pen to paper.  Below Tamaz documented her journey, she was still smiling.  She showed superb strength! What amazing person...to help when everyone just wanted to support her.

Please continue to show your support with funding.  Her family is extremely grateful to all who have given anything they could.  RIP Tamaz #lovemazzy

Yellow For Seth

There's often a question of the purpose of life...why are we here?  What is all of this for?
Well if for nothing else, I believe it's to be kind to each other & love one another.  We..and yes I am including myself, WE have this way of being so preoccupied with our own existence we're completely removed from what other's are going through.  No, that's not to discredit all you've been through however if we took our experiences and morphed them into a beacon to direct those who may be in a struggle, to guide them through the treacherous waters then this earth would be a better place.  Sometimes it's just a matter of supporting someone in their time of need.  Where their backs have weakened and caved under pressure, offer to carry their load.

People are reaching out for help, whether it be a hand to hold, or just a color to brighten a child's wall we should all want to reach back.

Below is Seth, 5, he is suffering from a rare immune system disorder.  His story is touching.  It wasn't much but today I decided to rep for seth and wear my loudest yellow pants.  I hope you can hear me Seth, I'm cheering in your favourite colour.

Give Thanks

This morning I sat down outlining my morning to one of the few people I know who asks the question, how was your morning? and actually cares about my answer.  So after I rambled on and on I said geesh what a morning.  Then I had to reflect: All these things that I felt were negatives and dampers on my GOOD THURSDAY could all be looked at in a positive light.  This is real, I really experienced these things but I have something to say to Satan who thought he was gonna make me walk into darkness and doubt how beautiful this day will be. GET THEE BEHIND ME satan.

God has shrunk you, you are minimized and my eyes have seen that I am truly blessed.  In all things, I am truly blessed.

Opened my eyes extra early this morning
really wanted the rest of that sleep
sat up anyway, couldn't sleep anymore
almost turned over that cup of water
on my bedroom floor

Hopped in the shower to get blasted with cold water
burned my lip on some hot tea
barely stomached the oatmeal, my mother made for me
saw the food from last night forgotten on the stove,
seemed still good to eat

Drove to work while my car sputtered
oh my gosh I had to pee
made it just in time, what a relief to me
sat to my desk only seconds, my nose began to drain
eyes weren't far behind
I was ready to complain
when this poem came to mind:

Thank God in all things
For he has blessed me where I did not see
And all the things I thought were wrong
Are his blessings he gifted to me

So I thank you dear Father
For a eyes to see,
and I could open up early this morning
Legs to run
when this bladder is full and pouring
Nose to sniff,
smelling spring
even though my allergies bring
I thank you Father
for this
And Everything

Friends

When people have the lame excuse like oh well I wasn't there cause I didn't know
but you called them a hundred times, but they didn't pick up the phone.
And every time they called, from their first call, you listened attentively.
That's a one way friendship, and that's not how it's meant to be.
My auntie once told me, people make time, for what's important to them
And if someone you hold dear to your heart never makes time, they are not your friend
So despite all the times you picked up pieces, or fought battles when they were to weak
But days pass into months, but they still don't think to speak
Wear them loosely as you can, some you'll have to let go
Because when you need someone, they claim they never know

Dutty Sucker...

My hair is dutty...well truth be told my hair isn't that dirty.  For two weeks I wore one pony, week 1 the puff, week 2 - one sorry dilapidated bun.  I didn't take a picture but I trust me, that bun was tired.  My Ecostyler gel had given up and bun was like ahem, no comb no cooperation - hash-tag that. 

AND I AIN'T COMB IT. #nocomb #nocooperation 

To the left is my untamed mane after I took off my rubber-band, lol you see the dent?<-----that's the culprit (only 1 strand in that, calm down newly naturals)

My hair is a sucker...you may not be able to tell but there is shampoo on my hair. YUP! There's shampoo all up in through there. Natural hair may confuse people but since it's pretty much all I know I can tell you how I manage the suckage.  I get to the scalp, really scrub that build up off.  Since the only product on my hair was really the gel (only on the edges) I only needed to focus on my scalp and the shampoo runs down the shaft (ya mind dutty) aka to the tip.

Below is the washing...oh how I wish my hair always looked this moisturized.

My hair is so fresh man...and oh so clean.  After I gave myself one long wash, yes one - how long I s'posed ta stay in that shower? I hope you can tell the difference, cause I sure can. My hair didn't feel stripped, it wasn't matted at all even though I didn't clear it out.  Yet!

Sadly though, that concludes my wash process on a Saturday morning. Next time, I'll bring to you the conditioning and de-tangling. Trust me...I don't promise at all.

Gruesome Images on Social Media 2

On March 11th 2015, a week & a day ago I wrote a letter to the Royal Bahamas Police Force.  I sent the letter to an email address provided on their official site, http://www.royalbahamaspolice.org/, in a section on the aforementioned website called "Tell the Chief" and as a message on their Facebook page .
I have not received one correspondence regarding the matter.
I checked back to see how active their Facebook page was, they posted something 5 hours ago. I would say I'm saddened or surprised, but I'm not.  It is however a sad thing when you've become completely used to being ignored in your country that you become numb to the lack of reaction to actions debilitating our people. Perhaps around election time someone will be interested in mother's finding out about their children's death via Whatsapp.  Perhaps around election time erroneous messages will be silenced.

*sighs* For a long time now I realized that I am not deemed "big enough" in this country to even make a ripple in these treacherous shark filled waters politicians and co. have continued to throw us in.  BUT....I'll keep throwing my pebbles and one day without warning, they will see the tsunami I created.

The Hash-tag

The Hash-tag

I wouldn't be me if I didn't question somethings and one of those things happen to be the infamous hash-tag.  I hid away from social media for a while so when I noticed the craze I figured the hash-tag was a way you pin key points of your statement, status, etc.  For instance, you watch a popular movie and tweet about it you in turn link yourself to that movie by #CreativelyTia.  So now when someone searches creativelytia BAM, your semi significant status shows up.  Cool right?  After some research I think that's a pretty accurate description of what it is.  I also found that this came about during the birth of twitter and has since been adopted into any other social media.

Now, that brings me to my point...keep your hash-tags simple and on topic.  Here is a little guide:

1. You post a picture of your dog Rover but when I search Angelina Jolie's United Colors of Benetton, Rover's face shows up.  #EpicFail I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ROVER & SHOULD NOT see Rover so don't tag him as #angelina #brad. How about #mydog #petlover....yea, stick with that.
2. Or your hash-tags begin to look like: #mymanjustleftmewiththesebadkidsandimontheporchhavingacoolarbormist #imleavinghimsincehedontknowhowtocomehome or #sin #cere #ly #yours I think it's time you just take pictures and leave that hash alone. #justsaying

#HappyHumpdayHashtags

Ciara - I Bet (Better Off)

So last week I stumbled across this beaut.  My news feed seemed to enjoy it and so as I often do, I listened, on repeat.  I'll assume most of us know that Ciara thought she found her match in Future but things didn't work out how she hoped.  I can totally relate to this song.  Back when I was a chick a dee I was guilty of writing that love story in my mind only to be bamboozled by someone who wasn't ready to accept all I was willing to give.

Future left with Ciara (courtesy of www.nydailynews.com)
Future wasn't readdddyyyy.  And of course people can change but I think what we all need to realize is, if that change isn't internal, baybay even if there's a shift for a while, that person will go back into their old ways.  They aren't gonna change for babies, you or your cooking so don't fool yourself.  Good luck to them both tho!!

Anywhos, this is what Miss Cee Cee inspired:

you call her friend
I was a friend too
and I know you have some spite
deep inside of you

but I loved you anyway
white out all your mistakes
and came back every time
you went and took a break

but you took advantage
you took me granted
yea yea

but you took advantage
uproot what we planted
yea yea

loved you
until the well ran dry
no wonder why
you thought the grass was greener
on the other side

but I bet you'll want back
when she gets a little fat
and you think I'm looking really cute
with my sexy new dude

but keep yourself over there
don't even try to stare
I'm better off over here
yea yea

Pony 2 Puff

Left: natural state pulled into a ponytail       Right: flat ironed (to achieve a better cut)

I Want a Man

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Undone

when the stroke of the keys are no more
ink has dried from every pen
pencil leads rotten, and broken
then you realize how much you left unspoken

When I sit in in front of my screen/paper there's a process that takes place. There's nothing so profound about it, it's merely a process I have currently adapted because I am slowly regaining my confidence as a writer.

So I sit.  I stare. I try to say what people want to hear in way they'll be willing to listen.  I try to write what has been on my mind and in my heart. I don't always get this right.  But I've given myself a goal, to just write.

HAPPY THURSDAY!

Meeting Blues

9:30 am
Every meeting I survive helps me realize how much this is NOT my dream.
Picture this Sicily 1939 it was cold, I had just...lol, sorry I blacked out into my fairy tale world and totally channeled Sophia, my favourite Golden Girl. Thanks Soph
URGHHHHHH So here I am, in a meeting to educate me on something  and honey chal, I am still lost.
Every syllable this man Speaks Slowly Sucks the life right out of me and writing this (appearing as if I'm taking notes) is the only thing keeping me awake.

You know I'm remiss when I began dissecting the abnormalities at the back of people's head.  I see it is quite possible to be fairly small with morbidly obese ears.CREEPY

Seriously though, when is lunch?
10:30 am

11:45 am
UH OH ma belly a rumble man, sighs.

Gruesome Images on Social Media

I don't know if it will help but I had to speak up...speak out.

Have we become completely desensitized to seeing dead bodies? A corpse on the street now a norm? 

It truly saddens me to be apart of a society,  a world that picks up a camera to record angst before they call for help, one that voice recordings of grieving family has more momentum than our track stars.

And so I wrote to the RBPF. ..it's a start. Let's get talking about it.

Corrections: I DO NOT* SLAB...when I write overwhelmed as I was I sometimes make errors. Forgive me.

Today is pony puff day

Anyone with natural hair knows all too well getting up with a Bush we affectionately call hair and trying to figure out how in the...*ahem*...how to fix it.

This is my fix when all else fails. I may look 12 but respect my puff.

19 at heart. .. I'll take it

http://en.what-character-are-you.com/m/en/1383/result/8289.html 

You're still very young at heart and risks will certainly not hold you back from doing something you want to do. Though you sometimes throw yourself into new territories without thinking about the consequences, one simply must be a little jealous of your carefreeness. You love thinking about the future, but when you do, you only consider the positive aspects about it – what's the point of getting yourself upset for no reason, right? You know that you only live once, so you may as well go out there and actually live it!

Don't I sound cool on paper!

This time change...urgh

This uncle trucking time change doing me in... I'm awake and at 6 I'll be like 1 more alarm. ..just 1 more

Sighs

Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud [Official Video]

Listening to him on repeat because I'm so happy my bestest BUD came back home safely. Ohhhh that feeling, to wanna love someone until your 70.
And anyone as youthful as myself knows that is ions away.
I'll soon be celebrating my 21st birthday

It's amazing how we hop on planes, ride trains, jump in cars..and however it is we get where we're going not realizing what a blessing is was to arrive safely.

Even if when you reach work you doze off for a minute (thanks time change)
GIVE THANKS!  You have been given the opportunity to love those nearest to your heart for at least one more moment.

Now try get on the insurance 

"darling I will be loving you 'til we're seventy..."

FOG DAY

Some ppl have snow days. . . This is how close we came.

A fog day in Nassau

Girl On A Pole

In 2015 I'm all for trying new exciting things that build me physically emotionally and mentally. So I took my jello arms where I've been thinking of going for about 2 years...yup I've finally found a pole and Raphy the instructor helped this girl climb it!!!!

Watch out nah...This girl is on a pole. The dance studio is: Girl on Pole Dance Studio http://www.girlonpole.com/ and the staff is amazing. Try it out.

Why Keep Rags

1.

ripping at the seams
like a poorly constructed dress
needle and thread
nor seamstress
can keep us together

we're done

2.
stick a knife in us
burnt to a crisp
charred remains of dedication
we no longer have
the strength to love each other

too weak to stand
the sight of you
makes me ill
to think this love is over
good luck, no luck
no four leaf clover
could help

3.
our cards have been dealt
joker
left me
after you poke her
I lost the game
sucker

Loved too much
you

I pity her
"I do"
to a man
who don't
who won't
who can't
love her like the start of a new day

appreciate her
like sunbeams
on the face of a prisoner
solitary confinement

4.
locked in your love

for decades
clinging to me
like meat
to the bones of the dead
buzzards pick
you're tricked

you Prick
splinter in my finger
small
big enough to hurt
yet
want us mended
pretended
to be what I needed

conceited

5.
concede defeat
at the end of all you can eat
buffet closed
done weighing my pros
you're a con

I'm conscious now

© Tia Clarke 2009

In the Pews

How can you write about God
Living in this secular world

Unmarried, having sex young girl
Laying with a man
Not your husband
Missing church every Sunday
Listen to that music you play
Sinner

How can you write my story
And you don't know me
I am more than you deduce me to be
I lay with a man that loves me
What happened to no greater sin

Yet you judge me, where I've been

who I am

Hypocrite

For God so loved the world

but he could never love you girl

posting jokes 

instead of bible quotes

Spiritually disabled

You bring nothing to this table 

And on his right hand I sit

so what if I'm a Hypocrite

He does love the world 

and he loves this girl
He didn't give his son

For just you one

Or only those sitting the pews

The ones who

gossip and carry news

(to be continued, maybe)

Unreal Love

love is like leprosy
infecting me
tearing at my limbs

because of him
bacteria
feeling inferior

ousted by the plague

love

or none at all
appalled
by your voice

damned by my choice
choosing you
to my love you couldn't be true

still loved you

now crippled

by fear, the doubt
of never being healed

cast aside, no more pride
like gravel beneath his feet
pinned down, beat

this disease maims me
body stained
even after he’s gone

the scars
remained 

©Tia L. Clarke 2015
(amended from 2012)