Tia Turns Thirty

My birthday was magnificent:

I want to thank EVERYONE that made it memorable and amazing. I'm forever thankful!

Tia Turned 

and looked dang good doing so...

Wait...It's Coming

In the age of consumerism and social media life broadcasts we've been led to believe that we need more and we need more now.

We may start to think: We should be over there doing what classmates are doing. We should have what this one has. Why am I not there yet? Why don't I have this?

Wait....

Remember those good ole sayings:

1. Nothing before it's time.
2. What's for you is for you.
3. Slow and steady wins the race.

They are all true.
When you don't get something exactly when you want it there's many possible reasons why, but I'd say: God knows you weren't to have it - or he says that's not for you to have at all.  Sometimes that road you feel has too many bumps was designed to keep you back from the oncoming collision.

As I approach a major milestone in my life I am reflective, I am happy, I am celebrating. I will not allow society to put an expiration date on my blessings. I am embracing where I am! Progression is my goal and God keeps me moving toward it!

So don't rush for anything; just wait...it's coming!

Jessica Reedy - Keep It Moving

Keep Moving...

Nailed It: Pirates Edition

I went to cover my first video release party on the weekend (BIG SHOUT OUTS TO MY BOY TONASH) and I was really excited, sleepy, tired...but excited. It's so inspiring when people can follow their passions fearlessly.  And us in this small country (The Bahamas) should continue to support each other in positive movements.  You can read more about the party on http://www.elife242.com/tenacious-tonash-bahama-mama-video-release-party/.

Nowwwwwwww.....during the festivities I wandered upstairs to find a mini museum. There were photos of all sorts of pirates they taught me about in school that I completely blocked out of my memory database. I'm sure one was Anne Bonny...sighs, anyway, I took this opportunity to play with the pirates a bit and I totally NAILED IT!

The M.V.P

Woooooooosssssaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
I am slightly disturbed in this very moment...(actually posted late :D)

How the hell you gonna bench your most valuable player and expect to win the game?
People have a hard time appreciating how great you are in the game until you're benched.  Or you're playing injured and they don't even notice! If you ride your star player but don't treat them as deserved and to add insult to injury, put them out the game to let subpar merely mediocre people play, expect your results to be unfavourable.  Of course I'm not wishing you evil or anything bad at all, but it's fair to say - I'll save my wishes!

As it stands, I have declared myself the MVP of friendships and eff what you thought. However, due to continually getting my wholeeeeeeeeeeeeeee stick lodged in a deep pile of doodoo. At some point in time you realize that your talents need a better support system and you just switch teams.

So here's a few steps to

Build a PRODUCTIVE team that supports and promotes each others goals and needs.
REMEMBER all the things your former team was lacking, the minute you sniff out that spirit, fire that player.
Most importantly refuse to be accept being benched - people do not have the right to drop you and pick you up when it is convenient to them. You are high PRIORITY- You are the Most Valuable Player.

Here to present with a token of my appreciate is none other than....

My Hair "Angie": Flex-It-Out Tutorial

I have to start making videos, as soon as I muster up the courage, but currently me and my camera will take you on whatever journeys Angie and I have. The details on this style was requested by a lovely lady on Instagram @hair_by_kia and I'm sorry I didn't take much more pictures but I will be as detailed as I can in this mini Flex It Out Tutorial.

The reason I coined it my Flex-It-Out tutorial is simple:
1. it sounds cool! I'm cool! Be like me!
2. only rods used were flexi-rods
3. I took them out - certainly no rocket science (i before e, except after c, had to make sure)

So for about 2 weeks I wore my hair semi straight. I washed it with my niece's 2 in 1 shampoo conditioner. Oiled it real well with Organix coconut oil serum, then flat twisted it so it could air dry and have some stretch.

 there's two bobby pins holding the ends of the twists securely on opposite sides; it's not pulled so tight it hurts but it was pulled so Angie didn't curl up at the ends.

A day or two later I took them out and flat ironed my hair (the name tag sticker on my phone; funny story...sex party lol) 

I'm not leaving any of these processes out because it's important to understand the texture of my hair at the time of this style.  (For those interested: I've been told I have 4/b hair - I don't follow that stuff up)       

Now down to the good stuff...after about 2 weeks, Angie and I got tired of that semi straight nonsense that was going on (it was never bone straight)

Soooooooo dreading wash day, I said my hair smelled good enough to go another week. LOL don't judge me. 

I cleared it out with my Denman (every naturalista new and old probably heard about this brush) I have two of them, the black red and white one seems to be much better than my all black but that's my opinion because it's like the grip changed and the bristles slide out of place more often with the black which is highly annoying.

  

I then moisturized again with the coconut oil serum (pictured further up), followed up with the shea moisture hibiscus smoothie I absolutely loveeeeeeeeee this. I've had a jar for about a year now and I still have a little less than half left because you don't need a lot of it, it's thick and smells delish. (side note) I've read on forums and comments that the formula has changed and it's not as good but I'll have to wait to see.

I wanted a lot of moisture because it did have direct heat from my flat iron and I wanted to make sure it didn't suffer from being wore out hair frequently. I used eco styler gelto set it. Eco styler is another natural favorite. 

Then I started sectioning - fairly large sections and added products to the sections; twisted and rolled on blue flexi rods straight to the scalp.

sorry for the bad photos

The next morning I took out the rods undid the twists and fluffed AND..

...here was the look

Better Than a Disney Princess

The debate over little black girls having their own Disney princesses to look up to has been hot. For so long our chocolate cuties have been enamoured by roles of Cinderella, Snow White, Belle and Arial to name a few. When the movie "Princess and the Frog" came out in 2009 little black girls of this time could lean a little closer to the screen as Princess Tiana, Disney's first black princess emerged. (I believe the closest we got was Pochantas, released 1995 - another great movieplease listen to my Poca jam https://youtu.be/diQgSDWJL7o) And I could go on for hours about what could have been changed but I won't...I'll just say it was a step in the right direction! 

In 2013, "Frozen" was released and the popularity of this movie was overwhelming and soon shifted Elsa & Anna into children's favourite princesses.  It was easy to fall in love with the icy Elsa and her long flowing braid (Anna's my fav tho) but my youngest niece ------}(this lil puddin pop) touched me deeply when she wanted her hair like Elsa's and her mother did a similar style to appease her but in her eyes, it was too far from Elsa's. It made me upset to know that she was unhappy with her hairstyle. My sis in law explained very well to her though that she can't be just like Elsa, and it's okay to be different. Later I told her I loved her hair, that she was beautiful, and looked wayyyyyy better than Elsa.

All this to say, I was inspired by my honey to be my own version of Elsa, I'm a princess my way. Hopefully every little girl is encouraged to love what she was blessed with. You're unique...enjoy it. You're better than a Disney Princess.

#blackgirlmagic

Straight Talk with Angie

Recently, Angie has been a good girl. She has been allowing me to do top knots, flat twists and low ponies all with little coaxing. So I had an idea, let's go straight for a while.

WHAT??!!! Straighten stubborn Angie???

What was I thinking?

The last time I flat ironed my hair it was straight long enough for me to get out the chair.  LOL it's funny when I think about it cause I was just as excited this time.  See below:

Pictured below; left: natural ponytail with plait; right: flat iron pony after I chopped it off

The thing about straightening my hair is, she does NOT want to be straight. I'm convinced of it.  But I reallyyyyyy wanted to wear this cool new floppy hat ------}
and thought, cool weather in Ohio is perfect to test out my new Remington flat iron. My mistake was though, waiting until the day before my travels to flat iron Angie. I think I should have worn it straight the whole trip.  Anyway, went through the process....

 Pictured here thinking, "boy this ga be RIGHT!"

More contrast...

I pinned curled it after I got it as close to bone straight as I could. (which may not have been that straight considering I wasn't getting close to my scalp.) Woke up and it was in tack ( no photos because I was feeling ill).
Fast forward a bit after feeling illl most of the day, a day of traveling and meeting Nassau humidity and heat - my hair had frizzed --------}

Either way, I'm dealing with it because either way, I gotta be straight with ya, I love Angie wavy, kinky, curly or frizzy straight - cause she's all mine.

I Think I Love My Life

I was minding my own beeswax when a lady mouths to me, "OMG is that..? OMG! OMG!"






I wasn't too sure when the person passed me. I saw two beautiful girls. No security. So I'm like wait a minute, YES, YES it is. I completely forgot about all the nervous energy I was having.








I'm totally not groupie (as my babe joked and called me) but as he stood in front of me I was like, well this makes for a pretty interesting story. Of course I'm sure he didn't want to be bothered but I thought, how could I deprive my few readers of sharing this moment with me.






Soooooooooooooooooooooooo Happy Holidays from me and Chris freakin' Rock!


Everybody Hates Loves Chris (Kind enough to take a selfie with me and my festive antlers)

Poor Workmanship or DIY: Water & Sewerage

After a long day of waiting, anticipating the ever elusive end of work day, most people can not wait to take solace in their home. I assure you, I am no different. The stormy Monday, literally and figuratively made home even more inviting.  All the showers aside thank God we survived. 

But imagine my family's surprise however when we came home to a partially opening gate with dirt heaped in front of it.  Yes! We left an operational gate and came back to find mounds of dirt & mud piled to our front gate courtesy of Water & Sewerage.  They have left us in awe. We know they are conducting work to "better"the quality of water, so they say - but MY FATHER, how can they explain leaving the dirt to the gate. I had to squeeze my way into the gate, 2 more pounds and I would have had to sleep some where else cause I surely wasn't getting in there. I mean the dudes even left behind their shovels, must be to tell us handle that ourselves aye??  I was soooooooo upset, I started doing what I do best.  Please find below my letters to those "in charge":

Dear Hon. Jerome Fitzgerald I trust all is well with you however I am unable to share such a feeling. Water and sewerage has been working in our area since last week Friday and they have left our area and specifically in the front of our house a mess. I'm upset that after my mom was in the hospital for half the day and my father and I have been to work all day we have to squeeze through our gates. We are upset. We are disappointed. We are outraged. The fact that they feel it is okay to conduct such shoddy work astonishes me. I understand the work must be done but they could at least not pile the dirt right in front of our gates. I ask that you please assist in the matter. Attached please find pictures. Regards,

(Sent via Facebook NO RESPONSE)

A virtually identical letter was sent to the email address left by Water and Sewerage. 

To Whom it may concern:

Water and sewerage has been working in our area (Marathon) since last week Friday and Friday as well as today they left our area and specifically in the front of our house a mess. I'm upset that after my mom was in the hospital for half the day and  my father and I have been to work all day we have to squeeze through our gates. We are upset. We are disappointed. We are outraged. The fact that they feel it is okay to conduct such shoddy work astonishes me. I understand the work must be done but they could at least not pile the dirt right in front of our gates. I ask that you please assist in the matter.

Attached please find pictures. In the pictures you will see our gate is only able to open about a quarter. This shows lack of consideration for customers and people in general. I trust this will be resolved as it is a complete inconvenience.

Regards,

(The response to this email was answered almost immediately. I was so surprised I thought it was automated. I am pleased at the response of the email but still highly disappointed that no one has come to resolve the issue.)

As of the time of this post, the situation was only resolved by my father shoveling the dirt away in rain. Upset is an understatement. 

See photo below

People will probably think, "well that's government agencies for you" - but when will we ever get passed settling for subpar performances when we pay for services?? Someone needs to be held accountable.

The Birds & Bee Stings

                                                  Let's dive right in

A few days ago Charlie Sheen announced his HIV status, the internet/social media were all ablaze with the headlines "Charlie Sheen reveals he's HIV positive in TODAY Show exclusive". I watched clips and read some of the stories and I have nothing but well wishes for the man, not that he knows me or cares but anyone experiencing hardships in their lives deserve well wishes to be sent their way. (Side note - Prayers for World, because the fact people can argue over who should be prayed for baffles me. Pray when you want, for whoever you choose, last I checked that was a personal conversation between you and God - but I digress.) So anyway, the whole Sheen announcement urged me to come back to this post that was drafted for couple months now but I just couldn't seem to get my thoughts together.  So here they are, as together as they can be at this point...

It's the metaphorical elephant that never leaves the room.  SEX.  What happens when you have sex? Who to have sex with? When to have sex? SEX! Even typing it looks foreign and wrong. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder to ensure no one's reading "that word".  But it exists - duh.
I'm sure parents know that, but they would lead you to believe that they dreamed of you and then God blessed them with the precious gift

But what about making sure you have some knowledge of the topic. I often heard American sitcoms reference "the birds and the bees" talk but in Caribbean vernacular the sex talk more often than not comes after the deed has been done and consists of only the warnings "You betta not get pragnant (Lord I hate that)" or "You better not get no girl pragnant". The rules to live by. Then of course there's biology class which might I add most teenagers giggled through when sex came up.

There's so much more though; there's emotion, there's the awkwardness, there's protection, there's being brave enough to say no even if you said yes the first time, there's responsibility, there's the after, there's possibility of disease...

Yes. Disease. I think it's a fair assessment to say, especially in a small country such as the Bahamas that
there is still a stigma against those who suffer from Sexually transmitted illnesses (herpes etc) HIV & AIDS. With HIV people stutter to say the seemingly innocent letters arranged in a death sentence.
YET, the conversation of sex with your children remains a taboo.  Babies are a welcomed surprise from teenagers you had "NO IDEA" was having sex with a baby shower to prove the excitement and support for the child

So which is it?  

Do we talk about sex and how to keep yourself properly protected or do we continue to ignore the elephant and bury our children and or their future. I believe any random 100 people in The Bahamas can be polled and I think it's safe to say that more than half of them will say their parents never had the "sex" talk with them.

What about you? Did your parents catch you getting familiar with your body and used it as a teachable moment?

It is the adults responsibility to share all we can with these children. We need to let them know the real about sex and encourage them to wait and IF they cannot wait to take every precaution out their to protect themselves. Ignorance is not bliss. Let them know they have the right to ask every question under the sun when it comes to protecting themselves and when any question becomes a problem to answer it is okay to walk away. Let them know monogamy is sometimes a one way street therefore wear condoms, girls - feel free to carry your own.

Let them know all you can about the birds, but never forget to tell them that the bee stings!